Bullshit!
On the "Poker Face" hero Charlie Cale, a human lie detector in the age of You-Know-Who
Pour one out for Poker Face, Rian Johnson’s artfully retro hit Peacock TV series, which was either “prestige” or “quality” but in any case too expensive, and got canceled in November after two seasons. A shame, since it was a fun, ambitious, and increasingly weird show, uncorking the graphics, pace, and style of ’70s network detective shows (Columbo in particular) to send Natasha Lyonne’s Pall Mall–voiced Charlie Cale (initially a waitress-with-a-heart-of-gold type out of Hal Ashby or Monte Hellman, later a Carol Kane–voiced cartoon fox or badger) off on a cross-country series of murder-solving adventures, enabled by the show’s central gimmick, her preternatural ability to spot a lie.
But I have to say, the specific nature of Charlie Cale’s gift has left me a bit puzzled. And it makes me wonder how this character would interact with the actual world.
After all, Charlie isn’t an FBI profiler, a polygraph machine. She simply knows when a statement is false. She’s less like Christopher Walken’s Sicilian mobster in True Romance, attuned to the 17 “pantomimes” of lying, than she is like Jim Carrey’s compulsive truth teller in Liar Liar. She reacts to false statements like they’re allergens, saying “Bullshit” instead of sneezing. Which by season two enables some quite funny dialogue. Like when she sits at a bar beside John Cho’s con man Alec, a meet cute that goes as follows:
ALEC: “I’m Alec.”
CHARLIE: “Bullshit.”
In the pilot we learn that Charlie’s gift somehow enabled her legendary winning streak through the nation’s backroom poker games, getting her banned from gaming establishments. Though how her version of lie detection would help in poker—in which players bluff but don’t make the verbal statements of fact that make Charlie’s gift ping—I have no idea.
Presumably a bluffer and liar reveal the same things that a criminal psychologist would look for in a suspect: the emotional mismatch between words and body language that experts call “affective leakage”, the signs of the “cognitive load” a liar bears in suppressing the truth, inhibiting the real memory, preventing slips, inventing details, tracking the timeline, aligning with known facts, drawing on working memory. You must get to be a real connoisseur of this stuff.
And once piqued by a lie, Charlie runs through all the procedural steps of a Columbo episode, checking for inconsistencies, requesting specific details, looking for corroborating evidence, asking unexpected follow-up questions, and doing all this in the bumbling and supposedly guileless lines of inquiry whereby she slowly tightens the noose.
Like Peter Falk in Columbo, Lyonne doesn’t appear until 15 or 20 minutes into the episode, when Charlie confronts the liar and begins to sniff out their crime, a Rashomon-like reprisal of preceding events revealing that she was present and just out of view the entire time.
This structure made wonder what other Poker Face scenes might have played out in future seasons. Why, you could write set your own Poker Face fanfic among today’s major league of liars. Even use actual dialogue from the league’s heavy hitters.
INT. A GLASS-WALLED CONFERENCE ROOM. MANHATTAN. LATE AFTERNOON.
On one side of the table: J.D. Vance. Calm. Controlled. Hands folded.
Across from him: Lulu Garcia-Navarro of The New York Times.
Charlie is pretending to fix a coffee machine in the corner. She’s not fooling anyone, but nobody’s paying attention.
GARCIA-NAVARRO
"Was the 2020 election stolen?"VANCE
"I think there were serious problems in 2020. I’ve said that repeatedly. Big tech suppressed important information. That’s a problem."Charlie’s head tilts slightly. Nothing explosive. No spike. No flare. Just—
CHARLIE
(softly)
"Bullshit."GARCIA-NAVARRO
"I’m asking you something specific. Was the election stolen?" VANCE
"I think that’s the wrong framing. The question is whether the American people have confidence in their elections."Charlie exhales through her nose. “Oof,” she mutters. The guy’s a master. He’s not escalating, he’s reframing.
GARCIA-NAVARRO
"So you won’t say no?"VANCE
"I think there were irregularities. I think there were problems. I’ve been very consistent about that."There it is again. Charlie gets up from the coffee machine.
CHARLIE
"Bullshit."This guy was asked a literal question — a binary one — and he gave a nonbinary answer.
She’s encountered three kinds of liars before. There are the sweaty, defensive ones — they flare. There are the bombastic storytellers, those who deceive without friction. And there’s this, the weaponized legal mind.
This guy isn’t claiming “Yes, it was stolen.” But he’s not saying “No, it wasn’t,” either. He’s keeping the narrative door open.
Charlie studies him.
His breathing is steady. His cadence is clean. The sentences are structured.
Cognitive load is low with this guy. Affective leakage minimal. Either he’s telling the truth or he’s a psychopath.
CHARLIE
(finally speaking up)
"Hey, can I ask something?"
Both of them turn.
She shrugs.
CHARLIE
"See, the thing is … when someone asks you a yes-or-no question three times, and you answer a different question every time? That’s not confusion."Vance looks at her calmly.
Charlie squints.
CHARLIE
"And here’s the weird part: You’re not nervous. Not even a little. That’s usually my hook. But with you? It’s like you’re balancing two stories in your head and just choosing the one that doesn’t get you in trouble."She taps the coffee machine.
CHARLIE
"Which means you know the straight answer would cost you something."Silence.
No twitch. No anger.
Just measured stillness.
Charlie’s eyes narrow.
CHARLIE
"Yeah. That’s bullshit."CUT TO:
INT. THE RAYBURN HOUSE OFFICE BUILDING, CAPITOL HILL, AFTERNOON.
Cameras, lights, journalists, and politicians in the gallery.
Charlie is sitting quietly off to the side, having delivered a tray of artisanal pastries to members of the House Judiciary Committee, who are now questioning Attorney General Pam Bondi about the Department of Justice’s handling of the Jeffrey Epstein files.
The room is tense. Some survivors of Epstein’s crimes sit behind Bondi. Lawmakers are present.
LAWMAKER 1
(on screen)
"Will you apologize directly to the victims for the exposure of their personal information?"BONDI
"I’m not going to get in the gutter for her theatrics."CHARLIE
(muttering)
"Mmh. A classic deflection pivot. Straight question, crooked answer."LAWMAKER 2
"You had a printout of Rep. Jayapal’s search history on DOJ computers. Is the Department spying on Congress?"BONDI
"You sit here and you attack the president, and I am not going to have it and I am not going to put up with it.
(pauses, then)
"The Dow, the Dow is over $50,000! I don’t know why you’re laughing. You’re a great stock trader as I hear, Raskin. The Dow is over 50,000 right now, the S&P at almost 7,000, and the Nasdaq smashing records. Americans’ 401(k)s and retirement savings are booming! That’s what we should be talking about!"Laughter ripples around the room. Not just chuckles — the kind that are half disbelief, half disbelief that a senior law‑enforcement official just changed topics entirely from child sex trafficking files to the numbers on Wall Street indexes.CHARLIE
(aside, quiet but sharp)
"Whoa."She watches Bondi inhale, bracing for the next question.
COMMITTEE MEMBER
(off camera)
"Ms. Attorney General — will you apologize directly to the survivors whose names were exposed in the released files?"BONDI
"I’m deeply sorry for what any victim, any victim has been through, especially as a result of that monster … but —"(pivots back to economic data and praise for the administration)
Charlie’s gaze narrows.
An hour later in the same hall, the session has ended.
Pam Bondi walks toward the exit. Charlie steps forward — casual but direct.
CHARLIE
"Hey — can we talk about something real for a second?"(Bondi blinks, taken slightly off guard)
CHARLIE
"You just got asked a direct question about harm that was done — pain that’s still happening — and instead of answering it, you talked about the Dow Jones. I mean — really? The Dow? In this room. In that context."Bondi’s expression doesn’t slip. Practiced. Polished. But something in Charlie’s tone makes her pause.
CHARLIE
"Look — when someone directly asks you whether you’re going to apologize to people who are undeniably victims right in front of you, and you answer by talking about how the stock market is doing, here’s what that signals to me: You’re not answering the thing they asked. You’re redirecting to something that feels safer — something you think makes you look good."A beat.
BONDI
(calmly)
"I’m proud of the progress this administration has made. I’m proud of Americans’ economic performance —"CHARLIE
(interrupting)
"No, no — I hear you about economic stuff. But that wasn’t the question. The question was about victims — real people. And instead of answering it, you turned to market talk like it’s some kind of shield."Bondi stares at her.
CHARLIE
(leaning in)
"That’s not just a detour — that’s a deflection. If you want to answer differently, that’s fine. But at least answer the literal question first."Otherwise, it’s just, you know..
"Bullshit."
Now. Had the show runner been able to shape a series-length arc, Poker Face’s finale would be probably be a boss fight, in which Charlie Cale faces the most prodigious and consequential liar in public life if not American history. But let’s try a quick version here.
INT. THE WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM AT DAVOS, SWITZERLAND.
Polished floors, banqueters in evening clothes, diplomats murmuring in a dozen languages. Charlie Cale stands near the edge of the stage, servicing tray in hand, ostensibly there to refill glasses. Onstage, the crowd settles and anticipation hums like static.
A lectern appears. Applause. A fleshy figure with orange cotton-candy hair lumbers over to it.
TRUMP
"It’s great to be back in beautiful Davos, Switzerland, and to address so many respected business leaders, so many friends, a few enemies, and all of the distinguished guests."Charlie’s head barely shifts. A little bell goes off.
TRUMP
"Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my inauguration, and today, after 12 months back in the White House, our economy is booming."CHARLIE
"Bullshit."TRUMP
"Our previously open and dangerous border is closed and virtually impenetrable, and the United States is in the midst of the fastest and most dramatic economic turnaround in our country’s history."CHARLIE
"Ah, bullshit."Nearby, a hedge-fund partner sips champagne. Charlie watches him for a moment, then returns her gaze to the podium.
TRUMP
"After just one year of my policies, we are witnessing virtually no inflation, and extraordinarily high economic growth — growth like no country has ever seen before."CHARLIE
(cough-talking)
"Bullshit."A diplomat two rows in front leans to ask her something. Charlie shakes her head faintly, eyes fixed ahead.
TRUMP
"Instead of raising taxes on domestic producers, we’re lowering them and raising tariffs on foreign nations."Charlie blinks, exhales.
TRUMP
"In one year, our agenda has produced a transformation like America’s not seen in over 100 years."CHARLIE
"I’m outta ways to say it."TRUMP
"China makes almost all of the windmills, and yet I haven’t been able to find any wind farms in China. Did you ever think of that?"Charlie guffaws.
TRUMP
"I mean, look, I am derived from Europe — Scotland and Germany. 100 percent Scotland, my mother. 100 percent German, my father."Charlie gives a what-the-fuck stare at the stage.
TRUMP
"Think of it. When I won in a landslide, a giant landslide won, all seven swing states, won the popular vote, won everything and I only get negative press, that means that it has no credibility."Charlie sets the champagne tray down on a side table. Says looks to a server beside her.
CHARLIE
(to server)
"This guy isn’t just lying. He's talking like no one’s even listening."The other server gives an apologetic smile — she didn’t understand a word.
Charlie smooths out her apron, starts walking across the hall. The voice drones on:
TRUMP
"I’m helping Europe. I’m helping NATO, and until the last few days when I told them about Iceland, they loved me. They called me ‘daddy’ right, last time."At the side exit, she gives one last look back.
The voice continues.
TRUMP
"Now what I’m asking for is a piece of ice, cold and poorly located, that can play a vital role in world peace and world protection …"And on it drones as Charlie heads down the hall, a voice so full of crap it’d draw flies in warmer weather. It’s a bit quieter as she hands over her laminate. Quieter still as she moves through the gated doors.
As she steps into the crisp mountain air, it’s gone.
Charlie stands blinking in the Alpine sun. Another sound in the distance. She squints, searching in the distance.
Are you shitting me? A yodel?
Charlie chuckles and shakes her head.
She pulls out a vape.
CHARLIE
"Sing it, my friend."
She takes a hit and heads toward the next town. Davos Dorf or Platz — either one will do.
On February 24, this guy will give the State of the Union address. Charlie Cale better be find some place that doesn't have internet or TV.
